Making love to your pillow
by Beatlebug
Summary: What if one can't get what he wants? What is one's pillow smells like the one he wants? Shall he make love to his pillow? Remus is getting a little desperate. First chapter, more to follow
1. Pillow Love

Summary; What if one can't get what he wants? What is one's pillow smells like the one he wants? Shall he make love to your pillow? I know, it sounds ridiculous, but please read. Will get better along the way :-).

**Warning; This is slash****. M-rated for the future Chapter! If you don't like it, don't read it!**

**Disclaimer; While the situation is mine, the characters and EVERYTHING ELSE belong to J.K Rowling etc.**

There was much to be said about him. He was not bad looking, clever, quiet, shy, sweet, a loyal friend. But also scared, scarred and last but not least, a werewolf.

Besides that, he was about to be seventeen soon and as if that didn't bring enough hormones along, being a werewolf brought even more.

He dated girls, yes. Frequently. But never more than that. 'Cause he didn't feel like exposing his scarred body to the soft beauty of the girl's. Nor did he feel like explaining where the scars came from. He wasn't like James, goofing around and getting hurt in every possible (and sometimes even _impossible_ ways).

Those were his three main problems. Werewolf, scars, girls. In that very order.

Well. It used to be.

Since a few weeks he got himself into even bigger trouble. Bigger than being a werewolf? Oh yes. Bigger than being a werewolf.

For this trouble had sparkling grey eyes, silky black curls. A mischievous smile and an unscarred, desired body. Damn. A problem called Sirius Black.

_A few weeks earlier_

Remus found himself lying on the blankets of his bed, wrapping his arms around his favourite pillow. He was trying to get rid of the urge to jerk off, as the boys would probably return in a while.

Besides that, he already wanked thrice today and he was starting to get a bit sore.

_No hormones. No urge. No. No. No. Naked MCGonagal Naked Dumbledore. Naked Snivellus. Oh god NO! __Disgusting. He didn't want to actually _loose_ his penis._

He shivered at the thought when a subtle scent sneaked into his nose. A very familiar scent. With a frown he pushed his pillow in the air, discovering a few curly black hairs on the pattern. Bloody Sirius!

He told him a _thousand _times he didn't want him to borrow his pillow if he felt the urge to give his to his 'special guest' hiding behind the curtains.

It wasn't that Remus was _that_ attached to his pillow. Okay, maybe a little. It was just that, every time his pillow smelled like Sirius again, and believe me, it did quite often, it meant he had had sex once more while Remus didn't.

Not that he didn't want to. Nor that he couldn't. He just didn't. And bloody Sirius. He got them all. He got to touch al the girls. Al the girls got to touch him. Hmmm..

Like a little animal (not a wolf, more like, a shy bunny that didn't want to get caught) he sniffed the pillow once more, tightening his hold on it. It was firm. Flat and broad. Was this what the girls felt when they held Sirius? Is this what they smelled? He rubbed his nose against the soft fabric. It wasn't that bad..

His trousers got a little to tight. Slowly he let his hand slide down the back of the cloth.

With a sudden realisation he threw the pillow through the curtains on the ground.

What was he doing? He flushed in shame. Thank god no one was around to see that.

What did he need an extra pillow for anyway? Stupid bloody fucking like Sirius smelling piece of stuffing.

_Snivellus Snivellus Snivellus Snivellus. _

Next chapter will come up soon, if any one wants to no if Remus will make further love to his Pillow! Please review!!!

**If you have any ideas for Slash, please PM me about it! I need inspiration!**


	2. Messer Stripes

Of course Remus couldn't resist after all, and when he came for the fourth time that day, he fell asleep. A troubled sleep, dreaming about striped pillows, muscled Marauders. A very, very troubled sleep.

*.*.*

'Ey, are you deaf?' His curtains were torn open and way too bright light was shining upon his face as he tried to open his eyes. Something hit the side of his head.

'Wake up!' Remus growled, sitting up straight and finding the thing thrown at him was the notorious pillow. And the offender, how else could it be, was Sirius Bloody Black.

'What's your problem? You'll be late for breakfast. Moony is _never_ late for _anything_. So hurry up before you damage your _prefect perfect reputation_.' He pulled the werewolf's arm in an attempt to get him out of him. '_Come ohon.'_

Sirius could be such a little child sometimes. He carefully sniffed his arm. Damn it.

Was he..? No.. He just had something weird going on with his pillow which had absolutely nothing to do with Sirius Black. Right?

*.*.*

This must have been the most horrible breakfast of his life so far. Sirius was talking with James, laughing, roaring and smacking the table in amusing disbelieve or agreement. And every time there eyes met and Sirius would caste one of his mind-blowing smirks at him, all he could think of was that piece of stuffing. Waiting for him in his bed. Broad, firm, scent. He was probably going crazy.

It didn't get much better during Transfiguration. Turning hedgehogs into pincushions. Of course he was gifted enough to do so. But _why_ did every single one of his cushion-attempts resemble the exact same striped pattern of a certain cloth he didn't want to be reminded of at all? Yes. It was definitely the worst day of his life. And he was _definitely_ going crazy.

_Snivellus Snivellus Snivellus_

_*.*.*_

Later that night, three out of four were in their Dormitory. Remus watched how Peter played Wizard's Chess with James. Which, of course, he lost for his lack of strategy. Sirius was off somewhere and Remus was sitting on the edge of James' bed. Opposite to his own.

It was staring at him. He could just swear. Of course it didn't have eyes. But the stripes. They were _staring_. The hairs were luring him. The smell too tempting.

He wasn't close enough to the pillow to _actually_ smell it, sure. But he could just memorize the divine aroma hanging around the pillow.

'I'm going to bed.' He murmered. James waved his hand absently, too lost in his game of Chess. 'Goodnight!' Peter murmured.  
Remus closed the curtains hastily. Spells. Clothes off.

Within seconds he found himself on top of the cushion, rubbing his erection against it. If he closed his eyes, it was just too easy to imagine it was the boy laid beneath him. His hand found way to the hard flesh in his boxers, releasing the tension that had been there all day, bottled up.

When he came, the pillow was again just a pillow, and no beautiful young men. Remus flushed. He was really going lunatic. He just jerked of to a pillow. Feeling ashamed of what he just did, he threw the pillow trough the curtains, on the hard, cold floor.

How could you start to hate something you used to love overnight?

*.*.*

The next morning, it was Sirius once again who woke him up, arms wrapped around the striped pillow. He was grinning. 'What happened between you and Messer Stripes? You used to love him so much and now he's been banned from your bed twice in a row!'

He held the pillow in his arms, stroking it with long slender fingers. 'Poor little thing. What has it ever done to you to be treated this way?' He pouted. 'Perhaps it should stay with uncle Sirius a while, until Messer Moony can act like a good pillowfriend again.'

'Yes, you go ahead and take that fucking pillow. I don't need it anyways.' Remus said in a harsh tone. Sirius raised his eyebrows in unpleasant surprise but agreed with the situation and threw the pillow upon his own bed. 'Whatever. I like Messer Stripes. He´s a kind pillow.'

He carefully placed it at the head of his own bed and wrapped his arms around the werewolves shoulder. 'Come one weirdo, breakfast time.'

_Snivellus Snivellus Snivellus_

*.*.*

Remus was glad he finally had a reason to get rid of the thing. Well. At least for one week. Then he came to the horrible conclusion that even after 5 times a day he still wasn't done wanking.

Jerking off wasn't satisfying anymore. Damn it. Not without the scent. The firmness. There was nothing else he could think of. A pillow for God's sake! He was pretty sure no one in the history of Hogwarts could've ever been this desperate. Shagging a pillow.. He was out of his mind.

He had to get Messer Stripes back..

*.*.*

**I'l be in Prague next week, update as soon as I'm back! ****Wanted to update before I was going, so I'm sorry if the story is a little messy!**

**If you would like to know how Messer Stripes enjoys staying over at Sirius'! ****Please review! :D **


	3. A Dream

Back from holiday! So.. Ready for a new chapter? It took me a very long time to decide whether I wanted to post this or let you suffer a little longer.. Kidding. Couldn't wait!  
Just a very small chapter! 

*.*.*.*.*

_He carefully tiptoed to the bed._

_The curtains waved at the soft touch of the wind. Why was the window open?_

_It was cold. But it didn't matter._

_What was behind the curtains, that mattered. __He carefully opened them._

_In the centre, glowing like a bulb, was the pillow._

_Though still a meter apart from it, he could smell the perfect scent it spread._

_He could feel the heat of the pillow, in spite off the freezing ro__om._

_He had to touch it. Had to grab it. Wank with it._

_He just had too._

_He carefully stretched out to it, but at the moment he touched the fabric, it was gone. His hand lay on a bare chest with soft little hairs._

_Perfect skin of a boy, grinning up at him._

_He quickly withdrew his hand._

_Staring at nothing more than a pillow._

_Perhaps __if he would seize it fast enough…_

_He held a firm __grip on the pillow and pulled, but found himself tugging a boy's waist._

_Fetched back. Carefully, with just one finger he poked the pillow._

_Boy, pillow, boy, pillow._

_How the hell was he ever going to get the pillow to come with him__ if it kept turning into a boy?_

_This was so confusing.__ He just wanted the pillow. He didn't want the boy._

_He placed his hand on the pillow again._

'_Why won't you let me take the pillow?' He asked the boy in a frustrated voice._

_The boy just grinned._

_Then he noticed something he didn't notice before. The boys skin cast around the exact same scent the pillow did._

_Perhaps it wasn't so bad.. Should he just take the boy?_

A stumbling sound woke up Remus. He mourned. This really had to stop. He was getting bloody obsessive with the pillow. Or the boy. Oh God please. Not the boy.

A deep sigh couldn't prevent the tears from coming up. Like it wasn't hard enough yet. Being a werewolf. All the scars, the hormones. Did God really hate him that much? To make him.. _gay?_

Of course he knew it wasn't the pillow he loved. Bloody hell.

Was he in love with Sirius Black?

Just as he thought his life couldn't get worse…

The pillow had to die.

Then he heard the rustling voices...

*.*.*.*.*

…

.

So.. What will happen with the pillow? Who dares to guess? :D  
Please review!

Three more chapters to come up. How will Remus survive his grieve?

Side note: just read in a review from another fanfic, most people either ignore or make Peter a loser. I think I'm about to ignore him in this fic. Should I change that?


	4. Confusing Words

_Decision: Peter will get a bigger part in the __next chapter! Thanks to SilverEars, who convinced me :P. Another small one this time._

_*.*.*.*.*_

_The pillow had to die._

_Then he heard the rustling voices..._

*.*.*.*

'You really have to stop this.'

Remus stiffened as he heard James' speak in a demanding whisper.

The sound made clear he wasn't supposed to witness this conversation.

He pretended to be vast asleep, though his ears were wide open.

'You're raping his bloody pillow.'

A loud moaning made clear that the other person didn't want to stop.

'I can't. It smells like him. Too good. Al musky.'

The voice was nothing more than a sigh, so he couldn't figure out who was talking.

Sounds of a little struggle and he felt how the pillow was placed beside his head when an arm reached in between of the curtains.

'If you're that desperate, just tell him how you feel about him.

The poor pillow hasn't done shit, you can't use it like this.

Soon it'll no longer have stripes for you rubbed them all off.

How will you explain that?'

The pillow brushed his hair when it got jerked away once more.

'No. I can't tell him. And I love his pillow.' Said the voice, a little louder this time and Remus could swear he heard the charismatic tones of a certain Marauder.. Right?

Or was he just hearing what he hoped to hear.  
Bloody dream..

James made a frustrated noise. 'You _can't _love a _pillow_. It's not alive, you know!' He whined. 'You love _him_. So just tell him! He'll found out sooner or later anyways. That there _are_ no girls. Pretentious lover my arse! Just you and that bloody pillow.'

Remus imagined Sirius standing with his arms wrapped around the pillow, looking like a little child with his favourite toy.

At least he hoped it would be Sirius.

A flash of Peter standing there with the pillow made him shiver.

Unpleasant.

With a struggle, James succeeded to obtain the pillow and placed it carefully on the bed again.

'If you ever touch that pillow again, I'll hex you.

I swear!

So your choice.

Get the pillow and suffer or get the boy and. Well. Just do your bloody thing. But stop being such a wanker about it. Breakfast'

James ran off with angry footsteps, soon followed by another raging body.

*.*.*.*.*

_How was he supposed to __interpret this .._

_Was the other boy, fighting with James. Was it Sirius?  
Of__ course he hoped so…_His heartbeat raised. Was him dream trying to tell him something?

He looked around. All other beds were empty. So there was still no prove James was talking with Sirius. _It could've been Peter for that matter. Gross gross. _

On the other hand, no one woke him up. _Sirius would've done that_. Unless, of course, he left the dorm in a fight with James.  
Or no one noticed he was still in his bed. He wasn't _that_ skinny, was he?

What if it was about another pillow?

_No.. Messer Stripes was the only striped one._

On thing was sure. He wasn't the only one with a weird pillow affair..

_What the hell was going on…_

*.*.*.*


	5. The Start of Revelations

Another little chapter!

At breakfast, slightly late, Remus squeezed himself in between of James and Alicia.

Lily was talking with her in a frustrated voice, casting killer looks at James very now and then. Apparently it was never too early to make remarks about her beautiful eyes, flaming hair of spicy character.

Spooning bacon and eggs on his plate, he carefully let his eyes slide from one Marauder to the other. They all looked pissed, not one more obvious than the other.

Well, James' reason was clear. He had a fight with one of his friends this morning and once again, his one true love despised him.

'Remus, where the hell were you! I need your help!' Said a slightly hoarse, sultry voice.

Remus smiled up at the source of the warm voice, but felt his smile freeze at the moment his eyes met the distributor of the voice. A frowning Peter was staring back at him.

'I caught a cold last night and everything spell I practice for Charms turns out wrong with my voice all like this!' His voice was like that. Indeed it was. Like that. The hoarse, sultry tones weren't far from Sirius'.

Oh god. This shined a complete different light of his interpretation of the conversation he overheard this morning. All of a sudden his bacon wasn't attractive anymore.

Bye bye appetite.

*.*

Despite his shock, Remus agreed to help Peter practice to make the best out of it. Of course with his crooked voice there wasn't much to help, but at least he could show him the right wand moves.

Every time he accidentally caught eyes with Peter or touched his hand instead of his sleeve while tutoring him, he made a face, shrugged or frowned.  
It was very uncomfortable being around some one you didn't know what to think off.

'Are you okay, you look really tense?' Remus shrug at Peter's hand on his shoulder.

'I'm fine!' He shouted more than speaking and Peter quickly withdrew his hand and raised his eyebrows.

'Alright. It was just a question.'

No. No. No. No. It was just a stupid coincidence. He shrugged and banned the idea from his head. Peter had _nothing_ to do with what he had heard this morning.

And didn't he prove where his angry mood came from? He lost his voice and couldn't practice his Charms. That's reason enough to be mad, right?

Well, perhaps it wouldn't be for James or Sirius, but Peter wasn't a very brilliant student, so he had every right to. Right? _Right?_

_'_Come on, we have to go to Charms. You're doing fine.' Remus muttered. A frowning Peter followed him.

*.*.*

The day went by like a crippled snail. Every glare of Peter or Sirius made his heart jump with hope or frustration.

During lunch, Sirius tried to start a conversation with Remus, but the latter couldn't help but sounding moody so the dark haired boy soon gave up.

Later that night, went to bed early. Nothing made sense anymore, why stay awake.

Though dreaming wasn't that much better lately.

James and Sirius were still planning some sort of stupid prank involving Snivellus in the common room. Where Peter was, he had no idea. Hopefully not under his bed or something..

He was lying in his bed, staring at the shadows the moon cast on the ceiling. If there was just a way he could figure out what was going on.

A shading, moving closer, startled him from his thoughts. There was a silhouette on the other side of the room. It didn't scare him for he recognized the posture.

It carefully moved closer 'till it was just a couple of feet from him.

Next to his bed, with a pillow in one hand and a very frustrated face was a young man.

'Remus, can I talk to you? I'm very confused.' Peter sad down on the side of his bed and laid the pillow next to him. 'I have to tell you something...'

*.*.*.*.*

Oh dear...


	6. Peter's Pillwotale

And another chapter! Sorry it took me so long to update, it didn't really come to me. Well. Here it is!

The boy's voice was shaky. Remus couldn't make out whether it where the nerves or the alcohol.

'Why do you need to talk to _me_?'

'Well. James would definitely hex me if I told him. And Sirius would just laugh.'

He shivered.

'It has to be you. Please?' The boy looked like he was close to crying. Though still anxious about what was to happen, Remus nodded.

'See. Every night when I sleep, this scent keeps haunting me. It's really weird you know. Like it has eyes and hands.' A wave of Fire whiskey flew past Remus' nose. Peter was definitely drunk.

'The golden hairs, waving. Those beautiful eyes. If they could be amber, they would I swear. Those perfects move. Body so gentle and refined.' He grabbed Remus wrist and held it tight. 'I need it! To touch it! I can't pretend any more!'

'I need Lucy!'

Remus eyes widened and his heart stopped beating. 'Woah. Lucy?'

'Yes Lucy. Who else would it be?' Peter raised an eyebrow.

'You didn't exactly say a name, mate.' Remus answered in an attempt to hide his very, very pleasant surprise.

'Lucy, James' cousin Lucy?'

'How many Lucies do you know?' Peter growled.

'So, what should I do?'

Remus sighed. 'Well. First drink a lot of water and go to bed. We'll talk later when your sober.'

All of a sudden Peter didn't seem that scary any more. He slowly, and rocking, found his way to the bathroom.

'Hang on!' Remus called after him. 'What about the pillow?'

'Whoa?' Peter turned around and tried to brighten his sight by squeezing drunk eyes. Remus held up Messer Stripes.

'Oh yeah. The pillow. It was on the floor. Thought you might want it back.' Then he made a dubious face.

'Though.. I think I heard Remus and Sirius arguing about it this morning.' He grinned. 'Sorry, I'm drunk. Why would some one fight about a pillow.'His face turned serious again. 'Unless they were pulling a prank on it. You might want to watch out.'

And he dragged his drunk body to the bathroom, soon to be followed by the unpleasant sound of wasted Fire whiskey.

*.*

Did he hear what he thought he heard this morning? Was it Sirius after all James was arguing with?

He could feel his cheeks burn. Damn it. How was he going to found out?

Midst in his thoughts the door of their dormitory opened and James and Sirius walked in.

They didn't laugh, they didn't talk. Did they argue once more?

'I'm going to brush my teeth.' James growled, walking over to the bedroom.

'Wouldn't do that! Peter puked in there.' Remus said to him.

James turned around 180 degrees.

'I'll just go to bed then.'

He jumped in his bed and pulled the curtains closed.

Sirius stared at the drapes. 'Fucker.' He whispered.

Remus raised his eyebrows. They fought before, but they never, ever called each other names behind their backs. Something was wrong.

Sirius walked over to Remus with a terrifying fire in his eyes.

'Can I borrow Messer Stripes tonight?'

If the heard the conversation right that morning, he probably shouldn't.

But on the other hand, he couldn't refuse Sirius something.

He carefully looked past Sirius, to the boy's bed.

'No bird?' He said while handing over the pillow.

'No. I just need something to smack that wanker on his head with if he starts complaining to me in the morning again.'

The dark-haired boy blushed. And Remus knew why.

In the morning _again. _That was almost admitting _he_ was the one this morning.

'Al right. Take it. Can I have it back tomorrow?'

'Yeah sure.' Sirius growled.

*.*.*

Remus couldn't sleep. He tried everything. Hot milk, counting sheep. Wanking. Nothing did the trick. He just couldn't forget that Sirius had a fight with James

That he borrowed his pillow. Which, after the discussion this morning, wasn't the wisest choice.

Was it true? Was the boy obsessed with the pillow? Or with _him?_

There was only one way to find out.

The floor was ice-cold under his bare feet. In fact, everything was cold.

Who let the window open? It didn't matter.

All that mattered where those curtains.

Curtains which behind he hoped to find himself answers...

*.*.*.*

*.*.*

*.*

Two more chapters to go! If I reach 45 reviews before the last chapter, I promise I'll write a very very very justified M-rated though still very cute ending!

If I reach 40 it's be less detailed but still cute :P

Working on some new fics, hope you'll follow me there! :D


	7. The Sight

Hahaha couldn't resist telling you this:

My mp3player broke down (which made me sad, I was attached to it). And a while ago I decided I would call my next one Sirius (just like my RPGpuppet and my goldfish..) Anyway, the new mp3player was very stubborn, didn't do what I wanted him to do and was almost acting like it knew it was just a cheap replacement for the previous one. First it made me mad. Second, it made me laugh out loud! My new mp3player is stubborn, arrogant but in the end doing what you'd like him to do most. He's acting just like the one he's named after :D

Anyway.. back to the facts. Pre-last chapter this is!  
You gave me more than 45 reviews, thank you so much!  
Which means, of course, I'm working on the steamy ending right now!

I hope you enjoy!

.

.

It was very quiet. James and Peter were vast asleep, no doubt.

The way to the others boy bed seemed like miles and miles. And within those miles, thousands of thoughts crossed his mind.

Was it true that this boy, this beautiful boy, was in love with him?

But what if he risked his neck, and it seemed Sirius just had something weird going on with the pillow, nothing more. Then he would be so ashamed.

Little secret tears streamed down his cheeks.

What if Pads would laugh? Say he could never fall in love with some one this ugly and damaged? That he definitely misunderstood?

No. Sirius wouldn't be that cruel. Not too him. They were friends.

Still. Had he been lying about all those girls as James implied? But why? Was he so arrogant? Or just too insecure to admit who he really was?

Gay..

With that word echoing through his mind, his finger carefully slid across the dark, heavy velvet of the drapes. One little peak wouldn't hurt, right?

He was probably just sleeping.

But what if he wasn't.

He carefully placed two fingers in between of the curtains, opening them just an inch. Just enough to let a curious eye search the bed.

And what he found, was not sleeping.

*.*.*

In the middle of the bed, as naked as someone could ever be, possibly even more, was Sirius.

So perfect, soft, unharmed. So hot. He could see the tiny drops of sweat sliding down the boys back. His eyes were closed, muscles softly moving.

Pressed against his chest, his nose buried in the fabric, was the pillow.

The notorious striped pillow.

One of hinds hand was sliding up and down the striped cloth.

Where was his other hand?

Remus searched the boys body, to found himself blushing in arousal.

The other hand was carefully caressing the most beautiful bodypart Remus would ever see in his life. A little drop of transparent liquid on top of the perfect color. Dark and hot.

He couldn't help but close his eyes, burning this sight in his mind forever.

'Remus..'

He opened his eyes, startled, to find the other boys still with his eyes closed and his mouth slightly open. His hand moving faster.

'Oh god. Remus. God. Re-.' And with a loud, moaning sound as a flash of pearly fluid painted the pillow into his sexual territory.

Remus could feel his own excitement grow in his underwear, unaware that in his arousal, he pulled aside the curtains to have a full sight on the body.

His eyes were wide opened He could smell sex. Sirius. God.

How he liked this sight.

It even took him a while to notice how Sirius opened his eyes.

How his sight shifted slightly to the right, to find a pair of legs standing aside his bed.

Underwear with an impressing bulging. A chest hidden within a white t-shirt.

Grey eyes that met hazel ones and all magic was lost. They were staring at each other with wide eyes and open mouths.

Sirius just got caught wanking off.

Remus just got caught watching it.

He stepped back.

He had to run.

Get away.

Go.

*.*.*.*

Next chapter will be a loooong loong loonger one that he previous ones.

We need a lot of time to create the perfect ending.

RIGHT? :D


	8. Pillows and Happy Endings

The last Chapter has come. I'm sorry it took me so long to update it. It made me sad, 'cause I don't want this story to end! Anyway, thanks for everyone who reviewed me. I hope you'll follow me in future stories and that I can please you with more weird ones!

As promised, the last chapter. I hope you enjoy and please let me know!

As much as he wanted to run, to hide, his feet didn't move an inch.  
His eyes were just staring into the grey ones. Even though they were

hide, confused and scared, they were still perfect. 

It seemed like hours before they broke their stare.  
In fact, it was Sirius who made the move to break it.  
He wrapped the blanket around his naked body.  
The pillow slipped out of sight. 

'Hey, what's up.' His voice tried to imply nothing had just happened.  
Like it was the most normal thing in the world that he just got caught  
wanking while whispering the other boys name.  
He didn't fail that hard.

Remus opened his mouth but nothing much came out.  
'Right.' Sirius cleared his throat.  
Remus pointed at the place where the pillow was hidden. 

'I think we should talk about that.'  
Sirius' hand vanished under the blankets and something striped appeared.  
'Yes.. That thing.'  
Remus stretched out his arm and let his fingers slide down the striped  
fabric, careful not to touch anything that wasn't fabric on there.

'Why?' It was the only word he could make up.  
Sirius blushed. 'I guess.. I like the way you smell.'  
Remus stared at his shuffling feet.  
'You do?'

Sirius turned even redder.  
'I'm not sure I want to talk about this to much.  
I've done lots of embarrassing stuff I guess..'  
Remus didn't feel like objecting. If Sirius wouldn't admit what he did,  
neither would he.

'I pretended it was you.'  
Remus widened his eyes and looked at the almost purple face.  
'Wha-wha-what?'  
'I can't lie. I'd wank and pretend the pillow was you. That you were  
doing it to me or something..'

'I did too.' Remus flushed. He did _not_ want to admit that.  
Sirius looked in the brown eyes.  
'You did?' Remus nodded. 'Oh my god. Poor pillow!'  
Two red cheeked boys looked at each other until one of them found his words and questions that had to be asked.

'So. The girls.' 'None.' 'Never?' 'Nope.'  
Sirius sighed. 'Kissed, a few times. But no sex. Never.'  
'I've been a big fat liar.' 

Remus couldn't help but scowl. 'But why? Why did you lie? I mean..'  
'I just should've said I liked wanking at the touch of the pillow for it  
smelled like you?' Sirius snorted.

'Right. That really wouldn't sound weird. Sorry Remus, I'm too shy to  
admit I fucking love you, or would probably love fucking you, so can I  
please borrow your pillow and pretend it's you while I rape it?  
I would've if I had known you did the same thing.  
But it's not exactly something to admit on a sunny day!'

Remus looked at the pillow. Green, with stripes in all colours.  
Minty green, not that lime. Soft an gentle colours.  
All that time he had weird thought.  
Weird obsessions.  
Sirius had had them too. He had been rubbing his body  
against a piece of cloth that carried more than  
just Sirius' smell. It was weird.

'Yes. Well. Good to know I'm not the only one with this weird thing.'  
Sirius put aside the pillow. That was done.

While wandering around for a new subject to talk about, his eyes got  
caught by the still impressive bulge in the werewolf's underwear.  
'Oh wow.' 

The words escaped his mouth and his perfect cheekbones flushed an  
intense red as he realised that the statement was as much as admitting  
that what had happened really happened. 

He blushed but from the corner of his eye he could see the other boy was  
still there. He didn't ran off.  
And somehow, that felt good. A little too good perhaps.. 

Sirius' hand slowly rose and carefully moved towards the swelling.  
The hand was shaking. The boys were shaking. The boys were blushing. 

Remus couldn't see clear. As if clouds were obscuring his sight.  
Was that hand really there? Where did the pillow go? Had he just  
imagined that part?  
He carefully reached for the fingers and trembled as he touched the  
lightly rough skin. It was really there. 

He couldn't help wondering how it would feel…  
Almost automatically, as if he had wanted this forever (which he probably  
had) and as this was suppose to happened (please let it be..) he pulled  
he hand closer until the fingertips softly stroked the fabric behind which  
the hard flesh was hidden. 

'Oh god.' Sirius sighed and blushed even more. Somehow it was the most  
beautiful shade of red Remus had ever seen.  
'Isn't this what you wanted?' He pulled it even closer so it covered his  
entire flaming crotch. 

His voice was hoarse and he had no idea where this courage came from.  
'Isn't this what you want?  
What you were fantasising about with that pillow?'  
He rubbed the hand even harder against the throbbing flesh. 

It was better than any masturbating he had ever done.  
Besides that, having control over gorgeous, hot, big mouth Sirius Black,  
was at least as hot.

The wolf inside growled of approval.  
This was exactly what it had wanted all along.  
And now, when it was about to happen, he was not to let go.  
The fact that Sirius didn't object made it even better.

In fact, he slowly moved his hand down towards the werewolf's balls,  
circling around them in a slow movement.  
The grey eyes staring up at him.  
'Why don't you come in here. It's cold out there…'

*.*

It was merely the werewolf that dragged the frozen yet burning body in the bad. Trembling hands closed the curtain.  
It was like being a young boy again, under the blankets, sharing secrets.

Sirius smiled. 'Is this real?'  
Remus shrugged his shoulders, but it was more like a spasm. 'I hope so..'  
Sirius moved a little closer. 'Can I kiss you?'  
Remus nodded. Their faces were just inches apart from each other.  
They both tilted their heads to the same side.  
Sirius grinned. 'That won't work.'

He carefully took a hold of Remus' jaw and tilted his own head the other way. This couldn't be for real.  
But when their lips touched, it was more real than it could possibly be.  
It was soft, it was love. It was good..

They kissed for a little while when Sirius withdrew just an inch.  
'Open your mouth a little.'  
Remus did. He jolted a little when the warm tongue entered his mouth.  
But when he got used to the sensation, it was the best thing he ever felt.  
He followed the movements the dark haired boy made.  
Their tongues played hide and seek, tag, anything.  
It was amazing..

The animagus' hand carefully touched the waist of the other boy.  
The werewolf's arm wrapped itself around the other boy's neck.  
It was so perfect. So unbelievably hot.

Their hands were explorers on unknown but gorgeous grounds.  
Remus touched muscles, hidden by a blanket.  
Sirius stroked a t-shirt, holding a delicate thorax.

Hand moved, hands touched.

Remus recoiled as Sirius tried to shove his hand under the plain white tee 

'What's wrong?' The worried look in the grey eyes was soothing.  
How caring and comforting the boy wanted to be.  
'Nothing.' But his trembling voice betrayed he was lying.  
Sirius tilted his head. 'Come one, don't lie to me.'

Remus swallowed. 'My skin. My s-scars.' He blushed.  
Why did he stutter, he sounded like fucking moron.  
But Sirius smiled and stroked his cheek.

'I know your scars. I love your scars. Don't worry.'  
Remus couldn't believe the words. How could some one love the body he so much despised himself? This was mistake.  
He had to go.

But Sirius took his hand, as if he could read the boys mind.  
'It's you. It's who you are. Everything we backed you up fore.  
It's not like I don't know where they come from.  
And you know I don't hate you for it.' 

Sirius took of the t-shirt and his fingers caressed the scars on the tattered  
yet soft skin. He leaned forward and kissed a scar close to Remus'  
collarbone. The werewolf shivered. 

'I love your body. Every single inch from it. Every scar that makes you  
ho you are.' He kissed his way up to the brown haired boy's neck.  
The werewolf placed his hands in the dark curls and slightly pulled them  
as the mouth pecked little kisses. 'Really?'

Sirius looked up and there was a shy look in his eyes Remus had never  
seen before. It was perfect.

'Really. How could I ever not love a boy who accepts I raped his pillow for  
years?' Remus' eyes widened. 'Years? But you've only asked to borrow it  
since a few months.'

'Yeah well.. Suppose it was getting a little too odd that your pillow got  
lost" that often.' Remus smiled and all of a sudden the fire in his heart  
returned.  
'You little pervert. You keep surprising me.' 

*.*.*

'I'll make it up to you.'

Sirius carefully moved aside the blanket and Remus got sight of the beautiful naked body.  
His heart made impossible moves.  
The perfect, unharmed skin he saw before. The flesh that had hardened  
again over the past few minutes.

'Like what you see?'  
Remus nodded. Sirius took his hand and placed in on his chest.  
'Feel it? That's the heart that took care of you all those moons.  
The heart that ran with you on the grounds.'  
Remus sighed. It was unbelievable.  
Was this boy really here, did he really love him?

Sirius took hold on Remus´ arms.  
He leaned backwards, pulling the werewolf with him until they were

flat on the bed, Remus on top of Sirius.  
´This feels good.´ Remus whispered. He could feel Sirius smile.  
´It does. We should do this more often.´

Remus crawled a little higher on Sirius' chest until they were facing each  
other. He pressed a kiss on the dark-haired boys lips.  
It was amazing. They kissed and cuddled and changed places for what seemed hours.  
They touched almost every possible part of each other.  
They rolled up and down, stroked and kissed.  
It went on until Sirius stopped and looked in Remus' eyes with a very serious look.

'Can I ask you something?'  
Remus shrugged. 'I guess..'  
Sirius took a deep breath. 'All this time, with your pillow. I've done all  
kinds of stuff. Imagined all kinds of stuff.'  
He brushed a curl away from his eyes.  
'There's just one think I never did. Never could.'  
With a tilted head he cast a inquiring look at the werewolf.

'Would you.. do me?'  
Remus' heart stopped beating. 'Do you?'  
'Yes, you know. Fuck me.'

Sirius blushed again. It was beautiful. He was beautiful.  
'I-I' Remus stuttered. 'I do.'  
A smile rose on Sirius' face and he wrapped his arms around Remus.  
'You do? Really?'

Remus nodded and smiled.  
He had only fantasised about this thousands of times.  
Which surprised him in the beginning.  
Sirius was the dominant one in their friendship.  
But on the other hand, the Animagus could never beat the wolf.  
So perhaps it was no more than logic.

Sirius kissed him and they Frenched more intense then they had done  
before this night until Remus recoiled.  
It was like all his fear and insecurity slipped out of the open window. 

'How?' Sirius frowned. 'Don't tell me you don't know how to…'  
'No no.' Remus interrupted him.  
' I know. What I meant was.. What position..'  
Sirius smiled widely.

'Well, somehow I always imagined us doing it doggy-style.'  
Remus giggled and blushed.  
'I guess that suits the situation.'

There was a short uncomfortable silence. It was about to happen.  
But what was the next step? Who was supposed to take it?  
Sirius' arm reached for something outside of the curtains and returned  
with a little package and a tube.  
No words were needed. They knew what it was.

In a little clumsy, trembling way, Sirius unwrapped the condom and  
put it around the werewolf's member.  
'It that okay?' He asked shy. 'Clearly never done that before.'  
Remus nodded.  
'It's fine.'

Remus watched how Sirius turned himself around and took another good look at the body he was about to take over.  
His skin was pale, in another way than his. Pink. Little hairs on his legs.  
God. The sight of hard, well shaped buttocks as they turned to him.  
Sirius was on all four and Remus moved towards him.

He folded his hands around the skinny hips and caressed  
the little hairs his fingers found.  
His heart was beating mad.  
His blood seemed to obey one body part only.  
He kissed the lower back, as his penis rested against the flesh.

'Come on.' The dark haired boy's voice was shaking from arousal.  
Remus placed the tip of his burning flesh against the tightness he found.  
This was it. This was really it. His head was close to exploding.  
'Take it slow.' The boy gasped.  
Sirius took a deep breath, for Remus the invitation to go further.  
He could feel muscles widen, letting him enter.  
Heat surrounding his cock.  
It was better than everything he had ever imagined.  
He was lost in space for a second, when he heard the other boy moan.

'Are you okay?" Remus spoke in a worried voice.  
'I won't if you wait any longer, fucking fuck me already!'  
His voice was a low growling which turned Remus, if that was even  
possible, more on than he already was.

He let go one of the tender hips and moved his hand to the boy's  
shoulder. His nails dug into the burning skin.  
It felt as if he knew precisely what he was doing.  
He carefully thrust his hips forward, withdrawing a long groan  
from the boy in front of him.

'Wait a second, just a second.' The boy gasped.  
'Am I hurting you?'  
'No no, it's okay.' Sirius was panting.  
'I'm just not used to this much stuffing.'  
Remus couldn't help but grin.

Sirius kept his silence for a few more seconds, giving Remus  
awareness of the incredible sensation he felt.  
He was surrounded by Sirius in a way he had never dared to dream of.  
'Go on.' The voice was unrecognizable, filled with desire.

Remus started moving. Inconsistent at first, but falling into a slow, pumping rhythm in no time.  
He moved and moved, harder and harder.  
He could feel Sirius moving in the opposite direction, approaching to make the entering even deeper.

'Oh god. Yes. Fuck me Remus. Fuck me harder.'  
The words made him crazy.  
Made him want to pound that ass into exaltation.

They moved, they fucked.

'Oh God!' Remus speeded up his tempo as he came closer to come.

Sirius had found his own dick, jerking off in the same rhythm.  
It differed mere seconds as they both came.

Remus freed himself from the burning body, falling on the cool sheets.  
Sirius turned on his side, resting his head on the brown-haired boys chest.  
'That was unbelievable. Fuck that pillow. No. Don't. Fuck me.'  
Remus smiled in ecstasy. 'I will.'

Their hands fused as they lay there, panting.

'I might feel this for a while.'

Sirius grinned.  
Then they turned quiet for a few minutes. 

'Does this make you my boyfriend?' Sirius looked up in the gorgeous  
brown eyes. Remus grinned. 'If you want me too.

There's just one problem.'  
Remus scowled and pecked his own lip.  
Sirius raised his eyebrows and his eyes almost popped out of his head.  
'What? What's wrong? Do you regret it?'  
He spoke in a very unlike-Sirius squeak. 

'You're not striped..'

They both laughed. Sirius pinched the werewolf's cheek.

´You almost had me there little bastard.´

It took them just a few seconds to fall asleep.  
A sleep with dreams about open windows, making love.  
And of course, about stripes.

Well? Let me know whether I did or didn't disappoint you with this ending.

I hope you'll follow more of my RL/SB in the future! :D

'Cause they will come, they will come!


End file.
